The Only Person You Can Change Is You
Most relationships that encounter problems seem to focus on the “who is to blame” element. This is not only true in personal relationships but also in professional relationships. Oftentimes in our work life we are stuck with people that we don't like, cannot get on with or in the worst case scenario nasty and vindictive colleagues. This is not only destructive but is also an action that usually leads to more problems than solutions.
Have A Look
Being the “bigger” person within the equation, would allow you to take on the responsibility of acknowledging some change is needed, and that the change should ideally start with you yourself. Being prepared to accept that some of the fault does indeed lie at your “feet” is a set in the right direction.
Taking the time and effort to explore the various reasons and actions that had a part in contributing to the current negativity of the relationship will help the you realise that there is really no benefit in placing the blame entirely on everyone and anyone else.
Successful recovery of a damaged relationship will be off to a good start when each person involved is willing to change for the better. This should be the main focus of the exercise as changing for the better will always be a more beneficial exercise that will eventually become so normal that the individual will no longer look upon such an exercise as something forced or unfair.
The positive changes will also help the you become a better person, thus making the overall situation more pleasant and easy to improve upon. It is also almost always easier to change oneself rather than trying to change the other party in the relationship. Changing oneself does not require the constant manoeuvring of another person’s physical and mental control.
Concentrating on being a better person will also encourage the other party to respond in an equally positive manner thus successfully allowing the relationship to improve for the better.
Sometimes however the other party is unwilling or unable to reflect on their bad behaviour. When faced with this situation in the past I had to make myself focus on myself, not let this person control me and take back the power. When you are consumed with what the other person is doing and saying, or not doing, then you are wasting your energy on someone that doesn't deserve it.
You can only control yourself, this can be difficult and can take time to master but it can be done. Trust me, I know.